Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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  2. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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  3. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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  4. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
    Paddy says "Are you on foot or in the car?"
    Billy replies "In the car."
    "Well that's the quickest way," says Paddy.
     
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  5. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushed her to hospital.
    On arrival the nurse asks: "How dilated is she?"
    To which Paddy replies: "Oh Jaysus, we're both over the feckin' moon!"
     
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  6. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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  7. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Errr no idea where this name came from
     
  8. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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  9. cor

    cornwall tyke Active Member

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  10. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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  11. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    A big thanks to my neighbour who lent me a large sheet of plastic during the rain yesterday
    Ta-Pauline
     
  12. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    A work colleague who isn’t known for his enthusiasm in his job was seen in the yard kicking a slug .
    When asked why he’d done that he said I’m fed up of it, it’s neen following me around all morning .
     
  13. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Just got in from Metrodome, had a p iss in deep end,

    Lifeguard blew his foooookin Whistle that loud , i almost fell in.
     
  14. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    There were a few good and funny nicknames when I was at work. One gaffer was known as Harpic as he was clean round the bend. And another guy known as thrombosis as he was a slow moving clot.
     
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  15. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Called my boss "knapsack". He was always on my back.
     
  16. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Bloke I worked with was known as opium... Slow working dope
     
  17. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Called my boss ********, the Autocratic ****, unpleasant 24 / 7,
     
  18. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    A lad returned to Afghanistan after an absence of 10 years and commented of the cultural change. He said when I left the wife always walked 10 yards behind the husband but now I notice the wife now walks 10 yards infront of the husband. He asked his guide why this change came about.
    Guide replied, landmines.
     
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  19. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    I had a really weird dream last night. Where I used to work, there was a bloke who disliked me.
    Have to say, the feeling was mutual. He worked in our Janitorial and Cleaning equipment
    department. My dream involved me having a heated arguement with him.

    He suddenly reached down and plugged a cleaner in and tried to suck me up into it.
    It really felt as though I was Dyson with death.
     
  20. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No idea.
     
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